Week 3 Story: Ghost of Walker Tower
Updated version at my portfolio
It was late one Thursday night in Walker tower. Jonas, a freshman student at the University of Oklahoma, was alone in his dorm contemplating the results of the general chemistry test that he just completed.
It was late one Thursday night in Walker tower. Jonas, a freshman student at the University of Oklahoma, was alone in his dorm contemplating the results of the general chemistry test that he just completed.
“Why did I mark B on question 11,” he thought to himself, as he clearly knew the answer was C.
Suddenly, amidst the anxiety of receiving his test results, the lights flickered.
“Surely it was nothing. These dorms are tremendously old,” he thought. “The lights always flicker.”
Suddenly, a cool breeze brushed across the back of his neck. In the doorway to the bathroom that connects his room with his suitemates’ room, a solid dark figure appeared. This had to be his suitemate pulling a prank on him. They were always joking with one another in such ways.
“What do you want?” Jonas asked.
“My name is Bill,” the spirit replied. “I have been living in these dorms for twenty years.”
At this point, Jonas was terrified. However, he remained clam. He knew This was not a practical prank from his suitemates. They could never come up with something so sophisticated. Rather than panicking, Jonas decided to be friendly to the ghost that was not showing any aggression.
“Why are you in these dorms?” Jonas asked.
“Because my grandson attends this university now,” Bill retorted. “Perhaps you know him. His name is Josh, and he is a freshman much like you.”
Jonas knew exactly to whom he was referring. Josh was a student that lived on the floor below him and was very actively involved on campus. In fact, they shared the same major and were in the same student organization.
“Of course I know Josh,” Jonas said. “We are good friends.”
“Tell me about him. Is he a good leader? Has he served this campus well?” the spirit asked.
“Josh is the best! He has a 4.0. He is the leader of a group on campus that tutors local middle school kids. He is nice to everyone on campus and does his best to leave our school a better place than it was when he first arrived. He is a true Sooner,” Josh said.
The spirit was overwhelmed with joy. Before Jonas could say anymore, the spirited turned and pranced away with glee never to be seen in Walker Tower again.
Bibliography: Spirit of Achilles
Author’s Note:
I wrote my story from an excerpt of Homer’s Odyssey about the spirit of Achilles. During a time of sadness, the spirit of Achilles appeared. Odysseus told him that he came to seek the road to Ithaca. He says that he has suffered many setbacks, but Achilles has been blessed. Achilles’ spirit says that he wants news of his son. He wants to know if he has become a brave leader. Odysseus says he brought him with him on his ship to join the Acheans. He states that the son spoke eloquently. He was a leader in combat with great skill. He goes on to tell of the many great deeds that his son embarked upon. The spirit of Achilles left with happiness and joy at the great news of his son’s bravery and leadership. I based my story on this excerpt but changed the characters. A possible project topic I chose was the ghosts of OU. I wrote a story about a ghost on campus that appears in a student's dorm room. The ghost states that his grandson is a student at the university, and it just so happens that the student in the dorm knows this other student well. The ghost asks about the character and academic prowess of his grandson. The student tells the ghost of the many good deeds and ingenious ideas that his grandson has promoted on campus. The grandson has made many contributions to the university. Upon hearing this news, the ghost of the dorms can be set free with the happiness at the good news of his grandson. The plot of my story is similar, but I changed the characters and setting to fit with the ghosts of OU theme that I found interesting.
Hi Andy!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your story. I had no idea it was a retelling of the Odyssey until I reached your author's note, but after reading that it definitely makes sense! I really like how you retold it on OU's campus, and I thought it was sweet that Bill was so happy when he heard his grandson was doing well in school. I think it would be interesting to learn how Bill ended up in the dorms in the first place, and maybe elaborate a little bit more on whether he attended OU or if his spirit appeared in the dorms just when Josh started attending OU.
Hi Andy!
ReplyDeleteI was very impressed with your interpretation of the Odyssey - I'm not totally familiar with those stories, but this was a really clever take on a basic plot. I found the character realistic and I liked that the information the narrator passed on about his friend reflected the things that are important to modern college students.
I would be curious to know more about the ghost himself. Alyx noted that it wasn't clear how Bill got to reside in the dorms, and I agree that it would be interesting to hear more. I also found myself a little confused by the timeline: how old would Bill have to have been at the time of his death to have a grandson in college twenty years later?
What if you introduced Josh a little earlier in the story, so the reader had a sense of how great he is before the narrator explains it to the ghost? I think it would be helpful to have some background there.
Thanks for sharing!
Hi Andy,
ReplyDeleteI actually loved your story. There were several that I read and didn't comment on because they were not very entertaining, but you did a really great job of developing the scene! I felt the same tension that the character was feeling. It was very well done!
Also, I am a former Walker resident. I would never go back.
Best,
Brady
Hey Andy,
ReplyDeleteThe suspense you created at the beginning of the story was great. I was a bit on edge and wondering where the story was going to go. This was a nice way to retell the story of Achille's ghost in a relatable way by setting the story on campus in the dorms. Why didn't the ghost in your story just go down a floor and check on Josh himself? Maybe the ghost grandparent did not want to frighten his grandson. Also, why was Bill's reasoning for being in those dorms because of his grandson? Since Bill had been in the dorms for 20 years already, I am assuming his grandson has not been there that same amount of time. This also makes me wonder how Bill died and if he died in the dorms. I wonder what would have happened if Jonas's roommate had walked in when the ghost was there. This story definitely has a lot of possibilities!